Daddy Career Day

This was a short story somewhat inspired by the ever-present Bear in John Irving's Hotel New Hampshire... It was published in  the N.M.M.U.'s annual publication, Sharp! Vol.5 2007, and apparently made one of the students on the editorial board 'feel sick'. Totally Unintentional, on my part!

Today is Daddy Career Day.

Mother packs my school lunch, almost as usual. A toasted cheese sandwich, crusty and dry at the ends with a middle that will be soggy when I am ready to eat it. But this time, for Good Luck, she adds a jawbreaker. Ice-cream flavoured. The kind with a bubble-gum centre. She knows these are My Favourite.

Sir calls me from my room. I am looking at Matilda in the mirror.
     There is a piece of hair about to fall out of my plait. I wonder how many other pieces are doing the same. Mother has never been very good at lunches or plaits. Jody always has a neat plait. And Pierced Ears. She won a baby competition once. The Most Beautiful Baby.With Pierced Ears.

“Coming, Sir,” I yell. Mother thinks it Silly that I call him ‘Sir’. Maybe most people think so too. Or they think it is Weird. But I like, and so does Sir, because it is Ours.

Mother gives me my toasted cheese in Clingwrap. This is worse than wax wrap. The sandwich is already sweaty. It will be even soggier today. She tugs my plait and kisses me on top of my head. A piece of hair falls out. She winks. “Behave!” I nod. It is too late to fix my plait now. I put my hand in Sir’s and we go.

Everybody at Sir’s work is very nice to me. One lady lets me play on her swivel when I am bored. It is like Sir’s at home but faster. She has just unpacked some Important Boxes and gives me the bubble-wrap. Some people like to scrunch it up. So it Snaps, Crackles and Pops. I like to pop each bubble Ever So Carefully, one at a time.

Sir draws the chalk Bible stories for a television show. He is Very Talented. Sir doesn’t read Bedtime Stories like the others. Sir draws me to sleep. He draws the Most Wonderful Things.
     When I go to school tomorrow I will stand up in front of The Class and Miss Hatchet.
      Everybody will get a turn.
      I will tell them what My Father does. I go round and round on the swivel chair. Round and round. And I think. Tomorrow I will stand in front of Jody and tell The Class and Miss Hatchet that my Father wears a Pink Bow.

Sir does the chalk Bible stories but he is also a Character on the television show. It is a show for children and the two Main Characters are fuzzy animals. One is a Boy. The other is a Girl. You can tell which one is the Girl because she has Eyelashes and wears a Pink Bow on top of her head. The costume is Too Big for any lady to wear. So Sir does it.

I don’t want to go round and round anymore. I think maybe I will have something to eat. I find Sir’s Dressing Room where my lunchbox is. Sir is not there. He is getting ready to draw. I take out my wet sandwich and chew around it. The crusty bits first. The jawbreaker I put in my jacket pocket for late. There is a note on Sir’s table. The note is folded and says ‘Andrew’. I know this because sometimes I like to practise Sir’s name.

I go back to the nice lady. The bubble-wrap. And swivel chair. I finish my sandwich. The nice lady gives me a mug with Winnie the Pooh on it. I sip sweet, milky tea. I can see Sir on the Other Side. He is drawing a Bible story. There are little televisions. I see Sir in them too. I am looking at lots of Sirs. Lots of Sirs’ hands. Drawing. I decide I will have my jawbreaker and stuff it into my left cheek. I cannot speak. For now, it is too big. But it will get smaller.

The nice lady wants to show me The Building. She takes my hand. It is still wet from my sandwich but she doesn’t say anything. I suck on my jawbreaker.

Sir waves from the Other Side of the room. I smile my Big Smile. And almost choke on the spit from my jawbreaker. He blows me a kiss. I catch it. Hold it in my fist.

My jawbreaker is getting smaller now. When we get back to the swivel chair I say “Thank you” to the nice lady even though it wasn’t very fun. We had to come back so I could wee. She asks if I would like more tea. I say “No thank you.” I would like to find Sir.

The door to Sir’s Dressing Room is closed. To a peep. I push and bump into something. Not hard. On the floor. I look down. There is the head of a fuzzy animal. With Eyelashes and a Pink Bow. Next to it is the one Without. The Boy head. I hear Funny Noises. Like whispering. I swallow on my spit. It makes me feel sick. There are fuzzy arms. They are too short. They end. And out the bottom stick the Hands. Sir’s hands. Lots of Sir’s hands. But they are not all Sir’s hands. So I look down. At Eyelashes and Pink Bow and Without. Tomorrow I will stand in front of Jody and Miss Hatchet and The Class and my eyes prick. My jawbreaker crunches.Through to the bubble-gum centre. It tastes like metal. Like Monkey’s Blood. Matilda has bitten her tongue.